10 Years

My life changed forever ten years ago today. At the age of 43, my dad died of esophageal cancer. He had been diagnosed five months earlier, by then it had metastasized to the liver and stomach. Diagnosed at stage 4, he was given a 5% chance of surviving 3 years. The doctors said that the cancer was probably only 4-6 weeks old when they caught it. Given that he had no prior history of smoking or drinking, activities generally associated with esophageal cancer, the doctors said they were lucky to catch it as early as they did.

Throughout his illness, he was convinced God would heal him. He never lost that hope, confidently clinging to it on the most difficult days. He insisted that everyone around him believe he would be healed too-completely trusting God to meet his needs. Thankfully, the worst day of his illness was his last in this world. God blessed my entire family by taking him home peacefully and quickly.

One of my friends was sharing part their life story with me last week when they said, "God showed me He could've done [x], and then didn't." It stuck me that God did the same with my dad. After a round of chemo and radiation, the tumors drastically shrunk. The doctors said they had never seen anything like it; they began to believe he would go into remission. Of course, my dad used it as an outreach opportunity, sharing his faith with whomever he encountered. God showed that He could have healed my dad, but in the end didn't.

It took me eight years to fully grieve his loss in my life. This year's anniversary feels different for several reasons. While my heart still hurts, there's peace and acceptance that overwhelms the pain. I also want to rejoice in the man he was:

• He loved and served God throughout his life.
• He loved and protected his family and close friends with a passion that sometimes overwhelmed people.
• He was fun and mischievousness.
• The family that does yard work together...gets frustrated and mad together! I don't know how many summers we spent landscaping different parts of our yard in Colorado.
• He spent countless hours tinkering with his 1961 Chevrolet Bel Air. I don't know how many antique car shows the family went to over the years, but we had fun at them!
  
• He loved computers and new technology. He would be beside himself with all the technological gadgets we have now.
  
• And my absolute favorite: He was only ticklish on the bottoms of his feet. Tickling him of course meant the entire family had to tackle him! Eventually, my brother and I were able to tackle him without my mom's assistance, but it generally took quite a bit of strategy and coordination. :-)

Today, I miss my daddy more than usual. I'm having a hard time believing that I've lived a decade without him. In the end, all I can say is: God is good; His plan is perfect!